HIGHLAND BUTCHERS BRINE INSTRUCTIONS

Oi, ya filthy gobshites! Ever looked at that sad, plastic-wrapped excuse for corned beef at the store and thought, "I can do better!"? WELL, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT. With the newTACTICALORIES HIGHLAND BUTCHERS BRINE Kit, you’ll be makin’ the kinda corned beef that’d make a leprechaun slap his granny. All you need is a6-8 lb. hunk o’ brisket flat, a little patience, and about fourteen Guinness deep before ya even start. Everything’s here but the cow. DO NOT TRY THIS WITH A FULL PACKER BRISKET. We recommend using a brisket flat. 

MIXING THE BRINE:

Grab a gallon of water, throw it in a big ol’ pot, and dump in the TACTICALORIES HIGHLAND BUTCHERS BRINE MIX like you’re feedin’ a hog. Add in that 1 oz. packet of Pink Curing Salt (yeah, the one that looks suspiciously like contraband), and bring it to a light boil. Stir that bastard until the sugar and salt dissolve. Once it’s all mixed, chuck it in the fridge to cool until it hits 40°F or lower—don’t be a clown and brine your meat in warm water unless you want botulism with a side of regret. If the spices look clumpy when you toss ‘em in, relax, ya tense feck—heat fixes everything (except your terrible life choices).

MEAT TALK 101:

Alright, ya drunken meat wizard, time to prep that brisket. Trim off anyexcess fat—leave about aquarter to half inch, unless you like chewing through beef-flavored chewing gum. Toss that meat into theincluded brining bag, submerge it completely, andpush out all the air like you’re giving it CPR. For ease of transport or If the bag springs a leak, don’t cry—just stick it in a food-grade container like astainless steel tub or a plastic bucket.DO NOT USE AN ALUMINUM POT UNLESS YOU WANT METAL-FLAVORED BRISKET.

Now,science time, ya lush—the brine works athalf an inch per day. So if your brisket’sthree inches thick, let that beast soak for six days. Give it anextra day for good luck. If, after cooking, ya cut into it and see a lil’ gray in the middle, don’t go cryin’ to yer mammy—it just means the brine didn’t quite make it through, but it’s still perfectlysafe to devour like a rabid wolf.

TIME TO COOK THIS BASTARD on a PELLET GRILL (Most Popular)

Once it’s done brining,pull it out and give it a good rinse—unless you wanna pucker your face tighter than a toddler eating a lemon.Dry it off completely and let it sitin the fridge on a rack for 12 hours so it forms a nice, sexy pellicle (look it up, ya heathen).

Now,season that meat with Tacticalories CARVERS PRIME Rub (included in your brine kit)like you’re baptizing it in the name of flavor.

1. Fire up your pellet grill to225-250°F and load it with a good, strong wood—hickory, mesquite, or even oak, unless you’re a delicate flower who prefers fruitwoods.

2. Place the brisket flat fat-side up on the grill grates andlet that beauty smoke for about 6-8 hours, or until it hits aninternal temp of 165°F.

3. Wrap it up tight in butcher paper or foil andthrow it back on the grill.

4. Keep smoking until it reaches 195-203°F. That’s the sweet spot where it jiggles like a well-fed leprechaun’s belly.

5. Let it rest for at least an hour, still wrapped up, before slicing against the grain. If you cut into it too soon, may the luck of the Irish abandon ya.

Nowslice, serve, and drown it in a pint of Guinness or a whiskey shot.

BAKING IT LIKE A SOFT-HANDED CITY BOY IN AN OVEN

If a pellet grill ain’t in the cards, don’t fret, ya oven-huggin’ hobbit. Here’s how to get it done indoors:

1. Preheat your oven to 275°F—yeah, low and slow is still the name of the game.

2. Place the brisket flat in a roasting pan, fat-side up, and set it on a rack so it ain’t just sitting in its own drippings.

3. Cover it loosely with foil and let it roast for about5-6 hours, or until it hits aninternal temp of 165°F.

4. Wrap it up tight (butcher paper or foil still applies) and pop it back in the oven foranother 2-3 hours or until it reaches195-203°F.

5. Let it rest for an hour before slicing—unless you like your brisket dry enough to sand a table with.

Now get to brining, ya magnificent mess. Sláinte!

Corned beef originated in Ireland, where it was an affordable source of protein for the working class. They would preserve the beef by curing it with large grains of salt. Some of these grains of salt were the size of corn, hence the name "corned" beef. The beef was then boiled and served with cabbage, potatoes, and carrots. Nowadays, corned beef is a staple for St. Patrick's Day and is enjoyed in a variety of ways.

Now, let's talk about some badass ways to use corned beef that aren't your typical St. Patty's Day fare:

• Corned beef tacos with lime crema and pickled onions
• Corned beef and sweet potato hash with fried eggs
• Corned beef and cheddar stuffed pretzel bites
• Corned beef Reuben sandwich sliders with thousand island dressing
• Corned beef and cabbage egg rolls with spicy mustard sauce
• Corned beef and Swiss cheese-stuffed mushrooms
• Corned beef and roasted garlic dip with homemade pita chips
• Corned beef and vegetable stir fry with spicy garlic sauce
• Corned beef and Guinness chili with cornbread muffins
• Corned beef and cheddar quiche with hash brown crust